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Mordred Le Brat's Box Of Tricks

A message from The Choirboy from Hell.
 
Yes. That’s what they call me. But if I hear any of Arthur’s stupid knights saying stuff like that about me I run straight away and tell my mummy, the most famous witch in the world: Morgan Le Fay and cry a bucketful and then she cuddles me up and goes “There, there, poor little diddums!” and gives me a nice fat warty toad to play with and then she goes down to her Secret Spell Room and does some horrendous magic. And then that loud mouthed Lancelot or that glum faced Galahad wakes up next morning in a stinking swamp or hanging upside down from a tower or in a dragon’s nest. Ha ha! That’ll teach them to call me names!
 
Actually I can sing very nicely. My mummy, Morgan, says I have the voice of an angel but that crosspatch, King Arthur, says I am a little devil. Mummy says that King Arthur is my father – yuch! He’s always telling me off and shouting at me. But, wait a minute – if he is my dad then that means that I’ll be King one day and then I can tell everyone what to do and have my own way all the time. Great!
 
What I like doing best is playing tricks. And the best time for playing tricks is Christmas because mummy and me go and stay at King Arthur’s palace – you know, Castle Camelot. It’s full of knights in armour and ladies in posh frocks and servants running about putting up decorations and the kitchens are fogged up with steam and smell of roast and stew and you have to duck out of the way of boys charging round with pastries on trays. And then there’s the dining hall with its huge round table and minstrels playing harps and trumpets and telling stories and there’s jugglers and wrestlers and dogs barking. You know the kind of thing.
 
Everyone’s so busy that no one has eyes to see what I am up to so it’s dead easy to cause chaos and that’s what I do. My favourite tricks are these: 1. Stuffing itchy scratchy stuff down Lancelot’s armour. 2. Sprinkling pepper in King Arthur’s wine. 3. Throwing grass snakes in Guinevere’s bath. 4. Hiding behind doors and jumping out with a horrible mask on while making ogre noises. 5. Hanging a wasps’ nest on the Christmas tree.
 
But I am running out of new ideas. So I am collecting for a special Christmas Box – a Box of Tricks. I don’t really want to hurt anyone – just annoy them and make a mess. So if you can think of any tricks I can play, say in the Ladies’ bedrooms while they are getting ready for the party, or in the Knights’ practise gym, or along the endless corridors of Camelot, or on the drawbridge, or in the moat, or in the dungeons or the dining room or tricks to play on the guards on the turrets or castle walls, anywhere on anyone – write it down, exactly what to do, and put it in my Christmas Box of Tricks. Thanks! And don’t think that means I won’t play any tricks on you if you ever turn up at Camelot – because I will!!
 
P.S. I thought I would give you an example of instructions for a trick so you know how to do it. Click "Join In The Fun" to read it!

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